Michael and James: Energy Harvesters!
by Earth Rockin' Toph
Summary: Faraway in the Milky Way Galaxy, there is a world populated by humanoid shapeshifters who have the capability of wormhole travel at the turn of a doorknob! Humanoid!MI parody. R&R welcome! Rated T for some strong action and violence themes.
1. Prologue

**Hello, this is Earth Rockin' Toph here again. You might know me for ****_Star Vacation _****and****_ Define:Pizza_**** in the WALL-E section, but I've decided to give a test run for a new story titled ****_Michael and James: Energy Harversters!_**** It takes place on a faraway planet populated by a race of humanoid being that can transform into fantastic creatures and bests unlike anything on Earth. They are also so advanced, they have the power of wormhole travel and can produced electrical power from harnessing human sound. **

**And, if you haven't guessed already, this is a humanized parody of the Pixar classic, ****_Monsters, Inc. _**

**So, for now, I've just got the prologue on here. It has some additional elements I've added, but I want to see if anyone likes the idea.**

**And now, without further ado...**

* * *

**MICHAEL AND JAMES: ENERGY HARVESTERS!**

**Prologue**

It was late at night in a big city. A figure in a yellow Poison Control hazmat suit ran swiftly down the street to a large building where many Poison Control vans were parked behind a fence of barbed wire. Once inside the building, he knocked on a door that read "Chief".

"Come in," a slightly irritated, elderly female voice spoke.

The figure in the yellow suit entered the office with a folder of papers. He laid them down on the desk. The woman seated at the desk switched on her Luxo lamp, and began looking through the papers, which contained some very advanced-looking schematics.

"What is this? Your free time doodling?!" the woman growled.

"No, chief," the man in the yellow suit replied, "I was able to retrieve these schematics from the desk of the dispatch manager for Energy Floor F over at M. Energy Incorporated. Apparently, he has mysteriously vanished and was last seen 2 days ago, which was when the call was put through to our offices. One of the portal managers, Jeffrey Fungus, tells me that he discovered the body of the former clerk laying next to his desk. Looking at these schematics, I am judging that they may be for a machine, but its use strikes me as being very suspicious, possibly even illegal. I was wondering if you could look into the matter."

"Mysteriously vanishing manager, suspicious machine blueprints... has the CEO said anything about this?" the woman inquired.

"Strangely, not," the man replied, "He is slightly shaken by the loss, however."

"Ehhh..." the woman moved out of her seat as if she were a Hutt from _Star Wars_, "This seems like the perfect opportunity to go undercover. I will go in as the new dispatch manager for Energy Floor F, and I will demand DOUBLE the paperwork for all the activity going on the floor. Because with my eyes around, I will be watching. ALWAYS WATCHING..."

The woman stared out her window, her gaze cast on a large building out in the distance, with a logo that appeared to be a blue "M" with an eye inside it.

_I have a feeling that something illegal is going on,_ the woman told herself, _and I will uncover it, even if it takes me years._

* * *

In the city of Osaka, Japan, a little girl named Mariko Tachibana was born. She was raised by her mother and father, Fumiko Hanazawa and Kenjiro Tachibana, who also owned three Japanese Bobtail cats, all of which she nicknamed "Neko-chan" (Japanese meaning "Kitty"). In fact, her love of cats was so much so, that she nicknamed any fluffy animal she saw "Neko-chan", but at the same time, she had an intense fear of reptiles, largely due to a vivid nightmare where she saw a large reptilian-like creature appear before her and attempt to torture and suffocate her as it hissed in her ear. Every night, Mariko would hit and bang the walls of her bedroom, believing that the creature was camouflaged into her flowery pink wallpaper, and if she were lucky, she would kill it. But her mother just believed that she was just going through that "monster in the closet" phase that almost every child on planet Earth went through...

* * *

2 Years Later...

"Good night Jared."

"Good night Mom. Good night Dad."

It was the dead of night as a young boy of about eight years of age slept in his bed, only the light of a full moon shining through the window. Drawings of giraffes and horses were taped to the soft yellow wallpaper. The silence that fell upon the bedroom was disturbed by the sound of thumping footsteps. The boy awoke from his bed slightly, looking around, only to see nothing unusual in sight, then went back to sleep. Just as he did, the silhouette of a large, dinosaur-like beast rose from the side of the bed, waving four long tentacle arms, and its eyes glowing a dim red, when suddenly, it growled loud enough that the boy flipped up wide awake and screaming. Unfortunately, the boy's wails frightened the beast as well, who yelped as he stepped one foot on a skateboard, and the other on a soccer ball, which caused him to slip in the air and land on a pile of giant silver jax. The beast cried out in pain as it lay on its side and spun in circles at the same time.

"Simulation terminated! Simulation terminated!" announced a computer voice.

As if out of nowhere, ceiling lights immediately switched on, revealing the bedroom to be a simulated environment stage with a robot boy in the bed, and a woman with orange hair, white camisole, black blazer, and a chevron-patterned red skirt sat at a control panel table. To her right was a group of students wearing ID tags and holding clipboards with crumpled note papers on them.

"Thaddeus Bile!" the woman called out, "You have made a very fatal mistake in this simulation. Can you tell me what you did wrong?"

The beast stood up, morphing into a human being with a spiked mace-ball tail, "Actually, my friends call me 'Phlegm'. I think I may have stepped on a soccer ball."

"Wrong!" Ms. Flint answered, "Can anyone tell me what Mr. Bile's mistake was?!"

The students were silent as Ms. Flint re-winded the tape on one of the computer screens.

"See, there's your mistake, Mr. Bile," Ms. Flint pointed on the screen. "You left the door wide open. And do you know why that's dangerous?"

"Uh, it could let in a draft?" Thaddeus asked.

"It could let in a **_CHILD_**." boomed a voice from the shadows. A huge crab-legged beast walked in on the situation, morphing into a human man with a red-vested tuxedo.

"Mr. Waternoose!" Ms. Flint exclaimed, "You were watching this whole time?"

"One touch from an Earth child is fatal enough," continued Mr. Waternoose, "Leaving a door wide open could potentially incite the child to enter our world, and it could spell disaster for all of us."

"Mr. Waternoose, I don't want to collect energy for our world!" a student panicked, "I'll die out there in an Earth bedroom!"

"I understand it is a dangerous job," Mr. Waternoose followed up, "But it is a necessary business and sacrifice for the benefit of our world. I need employees like you who can bring us big numbers in providing energy for our city. I need employees who are tough and can face Earth children without breaking a sweat. I need employees in whom fear runs through their veins as their strength. I need employees like...JAMES P. SULLIVAN."

* * *

**So, hope you liked this prologue. It will mainly follow the story of the original movie, but with some major differences, even to the plot. Read and review would be much appreciated!**


	2. Walk to Work

**Here's Chapter One of ****_Michael and James: Energy Harvesters! _****This story will deviate from the plot at some points, and there's some additions to the story to give it a different outlook, such as the History Channel program that's going to play on the television while Mike and Sulley eat their breakfast.**

**A/N: Before you read this chapter, here's some important terminology to learn.**

**_Kaiju_**** - The Japanese word for "monster", and used in this story to refer to the race of humanoid shapeshifters that populate the story**

**_Matsuri_**** - Japanese for "festival", but also the name of the ****_kaiju_**** home world according to this tale.**

**_Lux Nova_**** - Latin meaning "New Light", and the name of an ancient ****_kaiju_**** prophecy central to the story.**

* * *

**Chapter One Walk: to Work**

6:57 A.M. The beeping ring of an alarm clock sounds as James Sullivan, a man with purple-spotted blue hair and ridged horns is snoring in his bed; his hairy arms sprawled out as his alarm still rings, and the quilted comforter halfway down his hairy torso. He tosses to his side as he yawns deep and loudly. That is when a voice that sounds like the morning radio breaks through the beeping of the clock.

"Good morning Kaiju City!" the voice began to announce, "It's 6:57 A.M. and it's turning out to be a lovely sunny morning. Temperature's a moderate 65°F, which is good news for you reptiles, and it's looking like the perfect day to, I don't know, lay around in bed or GETTING UP TO GO TO WORK!"

That last line seemed to be spoken through a megaphone, which caused James to fall out of his bed and to the floor due to the shock it caused him.

"Oh, Mike, did you really have to-" James began, looking up only to see a short-statured young man with horns, bright green hair covering one of his eyes, and green pajamas with eyeballs printed on them, standing over him with a megaphone in his hand. This was Michael Wazowski; James roommate, work partner, and best friend.

"You better get up if you want to beat that all-time Scare Record!" shouted Michael through his megaphone again.

The hairy man stood up, dressed only in pajama pants as he trudged over to the bathroom. Michael stood there with his megaphone, tapping his foot on the wooden floor.

"Come on Sulley!" Michael cheered as James was brushing his teeth, "Fight that plaque! _Kaiju _don't have plaque!"

After that, James began his morning workout routine, with Michael there to help and motivate him. He started by pretending to roar at twins in bunk beds, the moving on to running away from human dummies Michael had constructed out of cardboard and yard sticks. They finished with some push-ups hanging from the ceiling.

"Come on, 119? I wanna see 120- oh what's that? 121? That's a new record!" Michael cheered with pom-poms, "Come on, we've still got time for some morning television and breakfast before we go to work."

Michael and James got out their TV tables and sat down with their bowls of Spooky Charms marshmallow cereal and blue milk. James also had the addition of a Monster™ Energy Drink sitting by his cereal bowl as he reached for the remote.

"Maybe I'll be able to catch that special on the History Channel about the so-called 'Ancient Prophecy'," James told Michael.

"Sure thing," Michael answered, "Oh, look! It's the new commercial!"

During the commercial break on the History Channel, an advertisement appeared on TV, featuring a giant factory and people wearing jumpsuits and blue hard hats. A CEO-like voice narrated over the images being shown of energy and power usage.

"Here at M. Energy Incorporated, we pioneer innovative and breakthrough technology to power your city. We warm your home, we light your dark, and our energy is always clean and refined. The window of innocence is shrinking, but we match children on Earth to their perfect _kaiju_ suited to their fears to produce only the highest quality scream energy."

An image of a person using a virtual reality simulation with glasses was shown on screen roaring loudly as he snuck around.

"I'm M. Energy Incorporated!" one hard-hat worker stated.

"I'm also M. Energy Incorporated!" said another worker.

"I'm M. Energy Incorporated, and I've been in this business for quite a while," Mr. Waternoose appeared on the screen with a cart of yellow canisters, "And I could not have gotten here without the help of all our loyal and wonderful, hard-working employees here; aren't they just the cutest bunch ever?!"

The scene then switched from a cutesy, googly-eyed Mr. Waternoose cuddling a plush canister to that of the lobby, where a bunch of employees were featured in a group shout in front of the reception desk, with Michael and James standing up front. The logo for the company appeared on screen, right over Michael's face.

"Here at M. Energy Incorporated," began James, "We always make sure that we put our best foot forward to serve a much greater need; to provide the necessities needed for our people to survive."

"M. Energy Incorporated!" Mr. Waternoose's voice boomed, "We Scare, because We Care."

After the commercial finished, Michael stared at the screen in disbelief.

"I don't believe it..." Michael started off, "I was... IN A TV COMMERCIAL!"

James facepalmed as Michael started dancing and singing, "Look at me, I was on TV!" all around the room, until the TV announcer said, "And now, for our History Channel special of the day, the Ancient _Lux Nova_ Prophecy: Fact or Fable?"

"Oh boy, it's on Mike!" James cheered.

"This prophecy was written many centuries ago," began a professor with glasses and a suit, "Linguists who specialize in historical languages have decoded the text, but unfortunately, not its meaning."

"_Lux Nova_ literally means 'New Light' in the Ancient Classical _Kaiju_ tongue," the narrator began, "For centuries, historians have tried to figure out what this 'new light' could possibly be. Could it be a new era of knowledge on Matsuri? Could it be that our sun will enter a new stage of its star life? Or is it something that is beyond the grasp of even our minds today?"

"The prophecy text is still a mystery today," started a woman with her red hair done in buns, "It tells of a time coming when a shadow of impending darkness threatens to destroy our way of life, a chosen child from the other realm shall set foot in the realm of the _kaiju_, and impart on them a gift of new light. It also states that the chosen child will be identified by two things. First, it will be young and incapable of speech as of yet, and second, this child shall have three fears, which when manifest together will cause the child much torment."

"The three fears are: reptiles, serpentine hissing, and invisibility," the narrator explained as ancient frescos and mosaics were shown depicting a human child in sleepwear glowing and ready to unleash a power blast as a serpentine, lizard-like creature appeared before it, adorned with the frond crest of an iguana and seeming to appeared out of a patterned bedroom wall as it hissed its blue forked tongue; a sinister glare appearing in its glistening green eyes.

"Please Michael, don't go saying anything on the Energy Floor today, alright?" James asked a favor.

"You know you just ruined the fun of this program, right," Michael grunted, "Besides, even if we did make note of this to you-know-who, he'd think it's all bogus anyway."

"However," the red-haired woman continued, "It says that with the help of two guardians, this chosen one shall subdue these fears, and only then give the _kaiju_, that being us, this gift of _Lux Nova_."

"As far as the two guardians go, not much is known about them, other than they will protect this child and help it subdue the three fears," the narrator continued, "which actually, point to one specific race of _kaiju_: the vanishing lizard."

"It is surprising that this prophecy would paint a vanishing lizard in such an antagonistic light," a science specialist named Professor Brandywine began speaking, "Normally, vanishing lizards are quite the opposite; loving, warm, friendly, hospitable, and known to be sweet, cuddly, and adorable beyond all belief. It's in their nature to crave companionship, warm hugs, and having their antennae petted. So, if this prophecy is true, then it must be mentioning a member of this race that would be an exception, not the rule."

Footage of rapidly-changing time in a city was shown, as the narrator concluded with, "From the looks of it, this prophecy could just be another bogus legend. Many claim in this day that it is indeed coming true, with a power shortage signaling the 'impending darkness'. However, none of the other signs have come to pass, and it's all just probably mass hysteria in the wake of a power blackout. Besides, if a human child were to set foot on this world, can you imagine all the Poison Control center agents that would be scrambled across the world?! In conclusion, this prophecy is a joke. Oh, and by the way, ALIENS."

Michael sat there, staring at the screen as James switched it off, saying "Well Mike, that was a very educational insight on historical ancient stupidity with their legends of light vs. dark. And now it's time for us to go to the energy plant where we will work to keep people out of the dark."

* * *

Before they knew it, Michael and James were out the door, walking down the sidewalk, greeting most of their friends as they went their way.

"Are you sure we can't take the car?" asked Michael.

"Nope," answered James, "We've got a power shortage coming, so it's best if we save the energy. That's why were walking."

As the two continued to stroll along they also greeted a local grocer and some kids playing Double Dutch jump rope. A man passed by reading his morning newspaper, unfortunately sneezing fire on it. A garbage collector walked by the grocery, sweeping up the trash then eating it. James even greeted a neighbor who transformed into a dinosaur-like being with the clucking of a chicken.

"Have a good day, Ted!" James told the large beast as it crossed the intersection. James and Michael followed along.

"This is it Mike," began James, "Today, I may just break that record. I won't be mad if I don't, I'll just be okay with whatever the results are today."

The two friends found themselves on the front steps of a giant energy collection facility, the blue "M" eye logo boldly emblazoned on the main tower as if it were overlooking the city.

* * *

**Was that an interesting read? I'll tell you this. If you liked it, Chapter Two is guaranteed to fill up 10 laugh canisters! I might post it soon, since I almost have it done.**


	3. In the Zone Today

**Chapter Two has arrived!**

**Here, four important characters are going to be introduced, and possibly laugh energy will be gained when you read this chapter. I put a lot of effort into the character descriptions, dialogue, and emotional expressions to give it a humorous, yet visually appealing flair (even though it's just words)**

**Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for some in-jokes, including one character talking like a ****_Star Wars_**** character, meme-based dialogue, and some bits of fan service geared to the hard-core MI fans.**

* * *

**Chapter Two: In The Zone Today!**

Michael and James stepped through the revolving doors of M. Energy Incorporated, greeting all their fellow employees as they made their way to the reception desk. However, they were stopped by a pair of hapless janitors who were waving polka-dot printed memorabilia, which included pennants, soda hats, and foam fingers that read "#1 Sullivan".

"Go get em' Sullivan!" cheered the janitors, "You're our all-time favorite hero!"

"Uh, thanks," James answered, "I'm uh, quite flattered."

"We love you so much!" The janitors bounced as their eyes turned all googly, "You'll do a good job, we know it!"

"Uh, yeah," James continued, "If you want me to do well, just please calm down with all the flattery; I may just lose my concentration that way."

"Oh ok," said the janitor with the yellow uniform and clown nose, "I understand."

"See ya' guys!" James bid them good day as he continued over to the front desk.

"You're amazing Sullivan!" the janitor with the green uniform and rocker haircut called out.

"Stop!" the other janitor told his friend, "You'll make him lose his focus!"

Michael and James finally made it to the reception desk, where a young woman with long purple hair covering one eye and a sequined green dress sat, answering the phone and wearing a headset.

"Hello, my Shmoopsie-Poo," Michael began in a slightly mushy tone.

"Googly-Bear!" exclaimed the young woman, "How are you today?"

"Just fine, Celia," Michael continued, "By the way, Happy Birthday!"

"Oh, you remembered," Celia sighed lovingly, "That's wonderful! Anything special planned?"

"Oh, not much," Michael continued smoothly, "Just a little sushi bar known as Harryhausen's."

At that moment, Celia's visible eye became a white circle with a dark outline, her mouth gaped open in shock as a blue spiral background appeared behind her.

"Harryhausen's?!" Celia was still reeling from the shock, "But... how, Michael?"

"Not to worry," began Michael, "Sulley here got us covered with the reservations."

James smiled, "Yes, I sure did, Celia...Wheelia...?"

"So, remember tonight at 6:30," Michael noted.

"I'll be sure!" Celia added.

"Just think," began Michael as he strided off with James, " You and Me, Me and You... Together Forever! "

* * *

The two found themselves freshening up in the one of the locker rooms. James put away his fur jacket in his locker, while Michael zipped up his jumpsuit and adjusted his work boots.

"Hey, I wanted to say earlier," began Michael, "Thanks for making the reservations for Celia and me."

"Well, what can I say," James answered, "You're gonna take Celia to dinner for her birthday, and I've got that scare record to hopefully break."

"I'm pretty sure you'll do a good job," Michael continued as he turned to admire himself in the mirror, "We'll just get through the day as usual, and then it's just me... and Celia!"

As Michael finished putting his tin lunchbox in his locker, the locker door seemed to shut itself. He was slightly puzzled by this phenomenon.

"Huh? Something must be wrong with my locker," Michael told himself as he opened his locker again, but it slammed shut by what seemed to be an invisible force. All of a sudden, the hanging lamps seemed to swing as if it they were part of a horror movie set.

"Wazowski... Sullivan..." a sinister yet sultry voice seemed to call out of the thin air.

"Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" Michael yelped as he hid behind James, "Where's it coming from?"

At that moment, that's when their answer was revealed. Right before the two friends eyes, a young man materialized as the camera pans from his snakeskin loafers and argyle socks, up his tailored pinstripe pants, damask waistcoat vest, and dotted shirt, topped with a chevron-printed velvet tailcoat, and accessorized with a fade-dye snakeskin tie, shimmering cufflinks, and leather bindings with chains hanging from his hips and wrists. His face was pale yet delicate as the high-resolution graphics in the _Final Fantasy_ games, adorned with emeralds for eyes and crowned with flowing hair, which was a brilliant iridescent purple as the rest of his wardrobe, but gathered in a ponytail that swirled blue at the end, and three magenta-tipped cowlicks stood up above his head. He stood on the bench that Michael had been sitting on; his hands neatly folded behind his back. This fine-looking man was named Randall Boggs; the only person formidable enough to challenge James' reputation as the top energy harvester, and also the most attractive person alive, according to a popular celebrity magazine.

"Well, what do you know," Randall hissed with his indigo-colored water monitor tongue, "It scares Earth children AND _kaiju_ alike."

"I wasn't scared!" Michael retorted, "Sulley, tell him I wasn't scared."

"You better believe it," Randall began as he slipped off his tailcoat, folding it neatly and putting it in his locker.

"Believe what?" James asked.

"I'm in the zone today, Sullivan!" Randall exclaimed as he danced on the bench, flipping his long hair and swaying his slender frame; the chains on his hips jingling loudly, "Gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers."

_Ok Randall, that has got to be the worst gloating dance I've ever seen from you, _James thought to himself as Michael taped the scene with his video camera.

_This would be MonsTube gold!_ Michael pondered as he continued filming, _Now to think of the music I could remix this to._

"Let's face it Sullivan," Randall folded his arms across his chest, "I've got a loyal fanbase and you don't!"

"Actually, you just have _fangirls_," Michael explained, "Sulley here has not only fangirls, but fanboys, fan-kids, fan-families, and even fan-pets."

Michael pointed over to a group of crazed teenage girls standing at the entrance of the locker room, all wearing purple fashion tops bearing Randall's likeness and captions such as "I *Heart* Randall!", "Lizard Luv 4EVER!", "Blending In Is Cool" and even "Future Mrs. Boggs". Some even had lizard-themed accessories, such as tattoos, earrings, swirly bracelets, hair barrettes, belly jewels, rings, and necklaces. The girls giggled and squealed as they waved picket signs and banners with cheesy slogans that read "We Heart Randall!", "Boggs * Brigade", "Stylin' Scales!", " We're Fan-dalls!", among others.

"And now, let's take a look at Sulley's fanbase," Michael flipped open a photo album containing pictures of James mingling with his more diverse fan demographics, such as petting dogs, smiling in group photos with fur-clad fangirls and fanboys alike, and giving hugs to little children who told him that he was "so cuddly and soft and fluffy and warm and nice". One of the quotes by the children read, "We love you Sulley! You're all huggable and will always be better than that stupid stinky mean lizard man." Randall's hands formed into fists as his pretty jade eyes turned an eerie white and a flaming background exploded behind him after he read those words off the page.

"Um, I still have better fans!" Randall tried to launch a counterattack, his face still flushed red in anger, "Children aren't really my favorite anyway. They're so annoying and get ice cream and slobbery candy all over my clothes."

Michael began, "Well, you better stop being such a nuisance-"

"Shhhh! Shhhh!" Randall hissed as he threw his arms around the pair, "Do you hear that? It's the winds of_ change_."

The words seemed to slip into James' and Michael's ears as a stinging venom. Randall released his grip on them, and just slithered off so smoothly as he made his way out of the locker room.

"See ya' on the floor, Sullivan," Randall hissed his serpentine tongue at the pair again, turning to the group of crazed fangirls to blow them some kisses.

"Nya, nya blah blah winds of change blah blah," Michael muttered to himself.

"Don't let him bother you," James advised his friend, "He's just trying to mess with us."

"I know," Michael began, "But that's just, wow."

"So lizard." James responded.

"Much creep." Michael answered back.

"Such annoying."

"So scales."

"Such squint."

"Wow. Much reptile." The two concluded in unison.

* * *

Michael stood outside an office window, as he began to speak nonsensical sounding sentences, along the lines of "Roz, my tender oozing blossom, you look quite lovely today. Did you get a new haircut or something?"

"WAZOWSKI!" an elderly woman, Roz, grunted as she threw down her newspaper, "You forgot to turn in your paperwork last night again, didn't you?"

"Uh..." Michael panicked, "Yes. By the way, I notice a new scent in the air. Is that a new perfume?"

"Can it, Wazowski!" Roz growled again, "You ain't gonna talk your way out of paperwork this time!"

James came running down the hall just as Roz got back to reading her newspaper, with a headline that read "BABY BORN WITH FIVE HEADS: PARENTS THRILLED", and took a sip of coffee out of a mug that read "No Paperwork, No Dates". Michael turned around to see his friend sprinting towards his location as he carried a giant folder of papers.

"Roz, here's my paperwork-" James exclaimed until he suddenly slipped on a wet floor surface, failing to realize the Caution sign the janitor had put. He slid so fast towards Michael, that the scene all of a sudden turned slow-motion. Michael whipped around, only to inadvertently hit Roz's desk and send a metal stick-like device flying in the air. James abruptly collided against Michael as Roz reached for a pair of sunglasses and put them on, and the metal device landed on James's back, emitting a flash ten times stronger than that of a camera.

After the camera returned to normal speed filming, Roz removed her sunglasses, shocked at the scene. James stood up, picking up the metal stick and his paperwork folder handing them both to the dispatch manager.

"That'll teach ya," Roz growled, "The good news is that you got the paperwork in. The bad news is that you've just been hit by my neuralizer."

"Your what?" asked Michael.

"It's this device that is supposed to make people forget things, especially if they're confidential and accidentally discovered. Mine was set to 7:52 A.M., so I don't know what you just forgot. Sorry about that."

Apparently, Roz was telling the truth. Michael and James had no memory of anything they've done in the time window between 7:52 and the present time. They even lost their memory of having sat down to breakfast and television, thus, wiping their minds of the History Channel program James had been so enthusiastic about seeing. On the bright side, they did remember training and exercising for their work day. James then went his way to the standby room where all the other Energy Harvesters were supposed to wait while the Portal Summoners set up the Energy Floor. Michael greeted a janitor who was mopping the floor as he went inside the work area.

The Energy Floor was large and spacious, with various stations with desks and portal connection platforms. Michael opened a folder with various key cards, of which he took one and swiped it into a keypad. The other Portal Summoners did the same, and a long train of what appeared to be framed closet doors instantly swung into view from an overhead zipline. Michael stood there, confident and smiling. Right next to him, however, stood another Portal Summoner, nervously shaking as he went through his folder, counting how many key cards he had on hand. He had deep red hair, which appeared unkempt, and was dressed in a red jumpsuit, blue boots, red gloves, black-rimmed glasses, and a blue hard hat. In contrast to Michael, he appeared covered in dark bruises and burn marks, freshly healed scars, and multiple tears in the back of his jumpsuit indicated he had received over forty lashes. To put a cherry on top of it all, he was literally chained to his station; the chains connecting to a shock collar and bracelets tightly clamped around his neck, wrists, and ankles. This Portal Summoner was named Jeffrey Fungus.

"Hey, Fungus!" Michael greeted Jeffrey cheerfully, "Making sure you've got enough door cards?"

"Mike!" exclaimed Jeffrey, "Sorry, I am. Nervous about today, I feel greatly. Two Energy Harvesters going head to head to break the record, we've got."

"Yeah, I know," Michael continued, "And surprisingly, this is the first time you don't simply address me as 'Wazowski'."

"All right everybody!" announced a man standing at a podium, sporting a headset as he motioned to all the Portal Summoners, "We've got our stations all online, and it seems like everybody's prepared. Okay, bring in the Energy Harvesters!"

The main entrance to the Energy Floor suddenly flung wide open, revealing a glowing white background, out of which a shadow of a mass group emerged.

* * *

**Hopefully I've collected enough laugh energy from my readers. Chapter Three may be a little shorter than this, but it's where the scare action (and a cliffhanger) will take place.**


	4. Making the Quota

**So, here's Chapter Three of ****_Michael and James_****. This is where all the action begins on the Energy Floor. Also, I will make note that the sequences describing James and Randall's transformations are based on ****_henshin _****(transformation) sequences in anime (like those "maho shojo" type shows). If you don't know what those are, look up the transformations for ****_Pretty Cure_****, ****_Shugo Chara_****, and ****_Tokyo Mew Mew_**** on YouTube to get an idea of what's going on here.**

**Other than that, just six back and enjoy the show!**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Making the Quota**

The Energy Harvesters had entered their work zone. At the head of the group was James, who marched with a staunch determination written on his face. Each Harvester then headed to his or her respective station, where they faced the doors that stood before them.

"All right!" called the announcer as he shut the windows so that no sunlight could enter the area, "Everyone, initiate your transformation!"

At that exact moment, all the Energy Harvesters shouted out their respective catchphrases, which resulted in their bare bodies becoming glowing silhouettes as they each entered through colorful vortexes. James called out "I am ready to unleash the beast within!" and his form became enveloped in a white light which was thrown through a blue vortex patterned with purple polka dots. He could feel his body increasing in size and changing physiologically; arms growing longer and more muscled, hands and feet becoming paws and gaining claws, tail extending, face becoming like that of a bear, and starting from his head, hair spreading all over him like fur. He landed on the floor, emerging from a glowing light as he roared louder than the pride of a hundred lions. He introduced himself as "The raging beast whose roar will awaken even the heaviest of sleepers, James P. Sullivan!"

Likewise, Randall, James' co-worker, also experienced a similar process. His phrase was "Winds of change, I hear you. Carry me as you wish!" His delicate physique radiated blindingly as a glimmering purple snakeskin vortex appeared and swept him through it. Light winds in the vortex swayed him around in swirling motions as his form stretched out into a serpentine shape, his two arms splitting into four arms, same for his legs. His fingers and toes were then reduced to three on each hand and foot, resembling lamellae pads characteristic of a gecko. His ponytail swirled down his long spine and became a spiraling prehensile tail, his head was flattened like that of a skink lizard, eyes bulged, and he swept a hand over his cowlicks, which then turned into a trio of antennae-like fronds. Finally, starting from his tail, scales started to appear all over his body, with a brilliant blue at the tip of his tail progressing onto his back, then changing into an iridescent mosaic of purple and violet tones, culminating in the magenta-toned tips on his fronds. A glowing globe of light blasted on the floor, in which he finally emerged, gracefully dancing and hissing. He introduced himself as "The unseen serpent chameleon, the endless fuel of nightmares, Randall Boggs!" as he blew a kiss.

After the other Energy Harvesters finished transforming, each of them had to give their powers a test run. James performed a few work out moves as he sported a growl on his face. A muscular, dinosaur-like beast extended long claws from the bases of his hands, and gave a good roar. Jeffrey pulled out a wallpaper swatch board and placed it behind Randall, switching colors and patterns rapidly as his Harvester could blend in to. A slug-like creature inflated spikes all over his back, another beast put in a pair of fake teeth, a hulking monster put on a set of 16 eyes, and a being that resembled just a giant mouth with eyestalks got a good teeth brushing from his Portal Summoner.

Over on a wall section left and above of the floor entrance, a giant LCD screen lit up, displaying a map of what looked like a Mercator mapping of planet earth. The East Asian coastal areas, Indonesia, Singapore, and part of Australia were highlighted by a red stripe, and then the map shrunk as a leaderboard for all the Energy Harvesters on Energy Floor F appeared. At the top of the listing was the name "Sullivan" (サリバン) with an energy score of 99,479, and right beneath that, the name "Randall" (ランドール), his score totaling 99,351.

"Hey," James began affectionately as he waved a paw, "May the best _kaiju _win."

Randall turned is head away, facing his door. "I plan to," he growled.

"All right!" called out the announcer, "We've got the East Asian coasts online, and Earth is right now in a full moon phase. Begin energy harvesting in 10, 9, 8, 7...3, 2, 1..."

The alarm sounded as the announcer gave the signal. The session had begun.

James ran right in through a cream colored door with orange slices printed on it. Michael quickly shut it as he checked the yellow canister connected to the door. Once he heard the sweet sound of a child's blood-curdling cry of terror, he smiled as the red bar on the canister shot up to full capacity. James ran back through the door and closed it.

"How did I do?" asked the polka-dotted beast.

The computerized screen showed James' score shoot up to 99,513.

"Not bad," Michael remarked as he gave a thumbs-up, "Next door, coming right up!"

Meanwhile, in the station right next to that of Michael and James, Randall tightened his fists and growled fiercely as he rapidly swirled his lovely serpentine shape around a door with smiling candy printed all over it, shooting himself right through the portal. Jeffrey nervously watched the canister on the side of the door as it filled up with an ear-piercing scream. The amethyst lizard beauty then swirled right out of the door he had entered, shutting the door swiftly. He looked up at the leaderboard, only to see that his score only raised up to 99,372; a mere twenty-one points compared to the thirty-four points James had just gained.

"Still behind, you are, Randall," began Jeffrey, "Re-aligning the screens, maybe—"

The lacertilian creature slapped Jeffrey on the face with the force of ten women in a reality show catfight, "Shut up! Just give me ANOTHER DOOR!"

"Aaahhh... alright!" Jeffrey sent the door back up, only to realize he was nosebleeding, but couldn't stop to worry about it.

Beasts and creatures of all kinds went in and out of various doors that arrived at their respective stations, with the Portal Summoners assisting as best as they could, swiping key cards one after the other; doors parading on the zipline above. Canisters were filling up left and right, and various workers were loading them onto carts to be taken to the processing areas. Screams from the other side of the doors could be heard, filling up each and every battery-like canister available on the floor.

The manager looked on from his podium, when Mr. Waternoose entered the floor, observing the typical work scene.

"Well, Jerry," began Mr. Waternoose addressing the manager by his actual name, "How are we doing?"

"Actually, Sir," Jerry started, "We're doing just fine. We may actually make our quota today."

"Very well," Mr. Waternoose answered as he folded his hands.

At that moment, one of the Portal Summoners was watching a canister slowly fill up, when all of a sudden, the power drained in an instant. He tapped the canister to see if there was something wrong with it, and that is when the muscular, dinosaur-like beast with the long claws burst out of the door, which was red with gold swirls printed on it. He started to cry as he buried his face in his clawed hands.

"What happened?" asked the peach-haired Portal Summoner.

"It was horrible!" the beast sobbed, "She tried to touch me! I COULD HAVE DIED!"

"She wasn't scared of you?!" the Portal Summoner was alarmed, "But, she's only six!"

"I COULD HAVE DIED!" the beast continued to moan, until his Portal Summoner slapped him.

"Get it together man!" the Portal Summoner scolded, "Janitors, we need a door shredder ASAP!"

The two janitors who were at the lobby earlier rushed into the scene with a large machine. The blond clown-nosed janitor pulled out a tape roller, and made an "X" over the door with yellow tape that read "VOID". He and the other janitor pulled the door from its frame and inserted it into the machine as the one in the green suit pressed the button; the wood chipping loudly, but also rapidly. Before they knew it, all the wood was gone; only the doorknob deposited in a slot. The two young men took the machine back out of the work floor. The floor manager and the CEO were in disbelief at what they had just witnessed.

"That's the 58th door that the company has lost this week!" Jerry was in shock.

"Human children these days," Mr. Waternoose sighed, "They just don't get scared like they used to."

Over at another station, Jeffrey trembled nervously as he watched another canister fill up with an ear-piercing scream; Randall exiting the door as his assistant still shook uncontrollably, now with his attention turned to the large screen as he uttered the word "Master".

"WHAT?!" Randall slapped Jeffrey again with his upper-right gecko hand.

"Look," Jeffrey pointed to the screen, unaware of the blood flowing profusely out of his nostrils.

Randall looked up at the jumbo computer screen leaderboard, watching his score shoot up considerably. As the number rose, the intercom came on; a female voice announcing, "Attention! We have a new top Energy Harvester: Randall Boggs."

For a moment, Randall smiled at the sight of his name sitting on top of the name "Sullivan" on the leaderboard. The other Portal Summoners gathered around him, cheering him on as the beautiful reptile thought to himself, _That's right, Sullivan. Now you'll finally know your place when you'll be kissing the feet I walk with from this moment on—all four of them, to be exact._

The moment of glory came to a halt when Randall caught sight of Michael with over 20 of the yellow canisters, all filling up to capacity. James emerged out of a door covered in pink and blue clouds and puppies. He clasped his hands together and glared at Randall sternly, only speaking two words, "Slumber Party."

James' score continued to skyrocket on the computer screen well into the 100,000s, thus switching his name to be positioned right over Randall's once more. The announcer voice came back on and said, "Oops! Never mind".

The Portal Summoners who had previously been cheering Randall ran over to James and started applauding the polka-dotted beast.

"You rule Sullivan!" one Portal Summoner cheered.

"No one can beat you!" another one exclaimed.

"IT'S OVER 9000!" a third one hollered loudly.

Randall folded his upper arms across his chest, and placed his lower hands on his hips. He glared at Jeffrey menacingly and said, "If I don't see another door in MY station in the next 5 seconds, I will PERSONALLY put you THROUGH THE SHREDDER!"

"B-but—Randall," began Jeffrey, "If kill me you do, deliver the doors to our station, who will?"

Randall turned around dramatically as a sparkling pastel pink background appeared behind him; his fronds waving rhythmically as a light breeze of rose petals blew and his emerald eyes sparkled with tears of regret.

"Oh, Fungus," Randall sighed deeply as his tears flowed, "You are right. How could I ever think of such a thing? Forgive me; after all, you are my only Portal Summoner!"

"The drama, please quit it Randall," began Jeffrey, "Alright now, it is."

The sparkling background and billowing rose petals disappeared as Randall stopped crying. He soon found his door manager hugging him tightly; his face pressed against the lizard's smooth-scaled chest.

"You know, Fungus?" Randall started, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd get off me already."

"I know," Jeffrey sighed, "For sparing my life— again, I thank you."

* * *

**I'll admit something. Originally, this chapter was going to go a little further than this point (up to James' discovery of the door), but the descriptive detail got so long, that the rest had to be moved into Chapter Four. I hope to post that one soon here. Until then, let's see some reviews! =D**


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